Wednesday, 30 July 2014

Center Parcs Sherwood Forest day 2

Activity: well it would have been junior fencing but on arrival informed that it's required to wear full-length trousers, presumably because a trouser leg will prevent the vicious-looking foam sword (£1 from Wilko) from severing one's leg below the knee. It being about 26 degrees none of the kids complied with the dress code and the session was duly abandoned. Health and Safety gawn mad, I tell ya.

First go in the water park sorry Subtropical Swimming Paradise. This was awesome the first time we visited this place four years ago, but the awe wears off by the 812th circuit of the rapids. Gerry however was experiencing most of it for the first time, having been too young to have fun the last time around. Such was his excitement that he completely disregarded everything I said to him, including "make sure you get out of the water by the steps at the right at the bottom of this slide", opting instead to swim under the dividing rope into the main stream of the only hazardous part of the park, where the rapids empty into a plunge pool designed to trap even the strongest swimmers in the reverse current. Fortunately a bloke already trapped in the pool fished him out, handing him to me with that disapproving look known to bad parents everywhere. There is a rule that when a dad looks after a child, nothing is more certain than that an accident will befall said child such as could never have been foreseen by the most risk-averse nervous wreck, and mocking the most intense, unblinking vigilance. Fortunately Gerry was completely oblivious, excitement overcoming self-preservation instinct.

Evening: holiday DVD. Seen it fifty times but we're on holiday... Raiders of the Lost Ark. Noticed bits for the first time! It's the film that gives and gives. Later, Emma and I enjoyed a protracted late night whispered row so that I could metabolise some vestigial work-stress and she could express her frustration at the impossibility of feeding one's soul when imprisoned in a plastic environment with three nerdy boys in tow (that's not including me BTW).

After two days, accidents: technically 1, arguments:1

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